The future is fidgetal
A couple of years ago an advertising hoarding along the freeway informed us that “Blackberry is here”. I wondered for a while if it was the next step up from Bluetooth, but it turned out that it was something else.
As the BBC News – The future is fidgetal notes:
Technology, and the hype that surrounds it, is changing the way we speak. But we don’t have to turn into drones, all spouting the latest i-word. Chris Bowlby says it’s time for the techno-bullied to fight back with their own subversive speak.
With the online Oxford English Dictionary recently re-launched and on the look-out for new language, maybe it’s time for a counter-revolution.
Here are some of the BBC’s suggestions:
High time that changed. Here, as a start, are a few of my suggestions, with definitions to try and get them into all those new dictionaries.
- Fidgetal – modern technology whose primary purpose is to give people something to do with their fingers (closely related to the decline of smoking)
- MisApp – something going terribly wrong due to over reliance on latest Phone gizmo
- Wikisqueak – sound emitted by diplomat who realises she’s sent confidential telegram without proper encryption
- Dreadsheet – spreadsheet containing very bad financial news
- Disgracebook – social networking site advertising user’s embarrassing past
- Mobile drone – lover of interminable tedious and public phone conversations
- Sin card – alternative device to fit in mobile for immoral communication
- Powerpointless – universal feeling in room at end of hi-tech executive presentation of negligible value
- Skypeochondria – queasy feeling brought on by obsessive fear of being offline
- Scroogele – search engine for people trying to find cheapest online gifts
Other contributions are welcome.
Otherwise, in the fidgetal future, any memory of pre-tech language will have been wiped or corrupted.